


It Isn't Always Like This

by Stregatrek



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Fifteen Minute Fic, First day on the Enterprise, Guinan being Guinan, just sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 14:27:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18896467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stregatrek/pseuds/Stregatrek
Summary: Sometimes people just need a person





	It Isn't Always Like This

The end of Beverly’s first day was something more than she’d thought it would be.  


The day itself had been long. Between the Q entity, Jean-Luc, and… Everything, it had been one hell of a day. Beverly put Wesley to bed in the most patient, mothering tone she was capable of, knowing full well that he’d stay up and read for hours. She went to Ten Forward, thinking that the stars would soothe her.  


“Hello,” the bartender said. “You must be new here,”  


Beverly smiled tiredly as she took a seat, her left hand pushing her hair back behind her ear. “First day.”  


“Guinan.” The bartender extended her hand, and Beverly shook it.  


“Hello, Guinan. I’m the new CMO, Dr. Crusher.”  


Guinan smiled. “Nice to meet you. What’s your first name, first day?”  


With a small chuckle, the CMO said, “Beverly.”  


“Good to meet you, Beverly. Let me guess- Betazoid Fizz?”  


“Never tried it.”  


“Then give it a shot,” Guinan smiled. “Looks like you need to talk.”  


Beverly shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s… Been a long day.”  


“Do you think it was worth it?”  


The CMO considered, her dark red hair falling in front of her face as she dipped her head in thought. “Yes. But the thing is… Well, I don’t know. It was a lot.” She accepted her Betazoid Fizz with a smile. “How about for you, Guinan?”  


The bartender smiled. “Yes, it’s been overwhelming, but quite good.”  


“How long have you been aboard?”  


Guinan shrugged. “Long enough.” She looked over Beverly’s shoulder. “But I think there have been more new faces than new friends.”  


“Hello,” A smooth voice said to Beverly’s right. “Can I have a chocolate mousse, please?”  


The CMO turned to look and found herself face to face with more curly hair than she’d ever seen in her life. The dark brown mass was joined to a particularly stunning face, and Beverly in her tiredness said without thinking, “Hello,”  


“Hello,” The newcomer turned to face her. “I’m Deanna Troi. Ship’s counselor. I think I may have met you earlier, briefly- Dr. Crusher?”  


“Yes,” She smiled. “Is it your first day?”  


“Close to it. This feels like the first day all over, honestly. It’s been so long.”  


“You’re telling me,” Beverly ran her hand through her hair again.  


“Here you go, Counselor.” Guinan set the mousse down in front of Beverly’s new companion. “I hope you like it,”  


Deanna smiled. “You know I will.”  


“Would you like to join me?” Beverly gestured to the window facing the stars.  


The Counselor searched her face for a moment and smiled, looking tired. “I would.”  


They settled down together, watching the stars move by. “Have you been in space before?”  


“Yes,” Deanna answered. “Not for as long as this mission is projected- but my mother is a diplomat, and I traveled with her even before I went to the Academy. How about you?”  


Beverly shook her head, “I was married to a career officer, but I’ve mostly been stationed planet-side.”  


“I see,” Deanna said. “And what did you think of that?”  


“I missed the stars,” Beverly said, gesturing out the window. “I have a son, Wesley, and I wanted to be there for him, even before Jack- well.” She took a sip of her Betazoid Fizz.  


Deanna nodded. “I like the stars too. There’s something comforting about looking at them, knowing they’re not looking back. The stars are… Warm, but obviously they don’t really care what we get up to,” She chuckled.  


Beverly laughed with her, propping her elbow on the table and pushing her hand into her hair, using the other hand to stir her drink as she met Deanna’s eyes again. “I’ve always felt the opposite, actually,” She said. “The stars have always looked so cold to me, but like… Impartial observers. They’re watching, certainly. Judging us even-handedly. Seeing what the human race gets up to.” She chuckled again, her nerves settling in Deanna’s presence. She felt over-aware of how close their legs were beneath the table. “Never thought about it, too much, really. Just a vague feeling. It seems easier to explain, to you.”  


Deanna smiled. “I understand. I can’t say I feel the same way, but-” She took a bite of her mousse. “I can feel what you feel. It’s very- Motivating.”  


“I suppose it is.” Beverly said. She looked into Deanna’s eyes again. Something about them was… Captivating. “I’m glad it brought me back out here.”  


Deanna looked back at her, dark eyes focused even though her smile looked tired. “So am I.”  


A quiet, intense moment passed.  


The stars indeed seemed to be watching, and Beverly couldn't say what she thought they expected her to do. She felt… She looked into Deanna’s eyes, searched the rest of her new friend’s face. Some shadow of emotion was familiar there, some tiredness and loneliness, some longing. “How did you first find Starfleet?” She asked, her feet sliding forward until she was toe to toe with the Counselor.  


Deanna slotted their feet together and sighed. “Well…”  


Three hours later, drinks long empty, Deanna’s fingertips just brushing Beverly’s, the doctor made a decision. “Would you like to go somewhere else?”  


“Somewhere else?” Deanna asked, eyebrows rising. She was smiling, though she looked even more tired than she had when they'd met. “Where?”  


Beverly considered for a moment. “I hear that this ship has a botanical garden?”  


“It does.” Deanna said softly. “Would you like to see it?”  


“I would.” Beverly stood, offering her hand. Deanna looked at it, eyes flickering up to meet hers. The Counselor took her hand. Beverly smiled.  


In the garden, she found several flowers that smelled like Deanna, some that had the same softness about their petals that Deanna did in her eyes, her lips. Beverly thought about drawing her hand down Deanna’s cheek, those cheekbones, brushing her lips. Sleepy, warm desire filled her chest.  


“Beverly,” the Counselor said. “Do you think… I can tell you miss someone. So do I. Do you think- how terribly unprofessional would it be-”  


Beverly didn't have to be an empath to finish that thought. “I don’t think it will interfere with our duties if we don’t let it.” She said, meeting the Counselor’s eyes.  


“We won’t let it,” Deanna agreed, strong words and soft eyes.  


Looking at her, Beverly found it hard to believe, but she wanted to. She truly wanted to. She bent down, hand cupping Deanna’s chin. “We won’t let it.” She agreed. Deanna’s lips were soft, comforting, tasted like chocolate.  


Kissing in the garden in the soft lighting of ship’s night seemed like the way to end the day. The roses and stranger flowers blossomed, the air warm and heavily scented. Beverly felt tired to her bones, but loneliness abated by the close-pressed Counselor.  


Time passed slowly, the beating of the ship's engines soft below their feet. “Would you come to my quarters?” Deanna asked when they broke apart. “I’m afraid they’ll feel- cold- if I’m alone.”  


Beverly hesitated, thought of Wesley. “Yes. But I need to stop at mine first. Check on my son.”  


“Of course,” Deanna paused, seeming to listen to something. “Would you like company?”  


“Yes,” the CMO said gratefully.  


They walked hand in hand through the near-deserted corridors, ship’s time approaching two in the morning. One or two sleepy crew members staggered past them, no spare glances between any of them. Deanna leaned on the wall outside Beverly’s quarters as the Doctor stepped inside to check on her son. As she’d expected, he was awake and reading beneath the covers just like teenagers had been doing every night since the invention of the flashlight. “Wesley,” Beverly said tiredly. She watched her son startle at the sound.  


“Sorry, mom! I was about to go to bed, really, I promise.”  


“Sure,” She rubbed her face. “Go to bed, Wesley.”  


“Sorry, mom.” He switched off his flashlight. “Good night.”  


Leaning on the wall, the doctor answered, “Good night, Wesley. I love you.”  


“I love you too, mom.”  


Beverly left the room, hoping her son would really sleep. She hoped she would sleep too, knowing that she wouldn’t be alone in a cold Starfleet bed. Deanna was leaning on the wall in the corridor, her arms folded over her stomach. “Sorry,” Beverly said. “Ready?”  


“Don’t apologize.” The Counselor smiled. “Thank you for being willing to come with me. I just… I just don’t think I’d be able to sleep, by myself.”  


“I understand completely.”  


Deanna’s quarters were lit softly, orchids on the table. Beverly replicated herself a soft set of flannel pajamas, and found Deanna in a pink silk dress when she emerged from changing in the bathroom. “You look nice,” Deanna said.  


“Thank you,” Beverly blushed. “I was about to say the same to you,”  


Deanna smiled, pushing back the covers on her bed. “Come here?” She invited, crawling in.  


Thinking that in another moment, another time, her skin would be alight and her heart pounding, Beverly very nearly collapsed into bed beside Deanna. “Hello,” she said softly, turning her head on the pillow so that she could look into the Betazoid’s eyes.  


“Hello,” Deanna replied. “Computer, lights down to five percent.”  


Silence passed for a moment, Beverly’s fingers playing idly with Deanna’s hair.  


“Would you hold me?” Deanna murmured in the darkness, the only light coming from stars reflecting in her eyes.  


“Yes,” Beverly said, grateful for the chance to move closer to her warmth. Deanna smelled nice, her hair was soft- it had been a long time since Beverly was so comfortable. “Any time you like.”  


Deanna laid her head on Beverly’s collar bone, her hand resting lightly on the doctor’s shoulder, their legs tangled together. “Sometimes people just need a person,” the Betazoid observed quietly. “I’ll always be here if you need me, Beverly,” Deanna promised.  


Having just met, already holding one another like this, feeling something from the woman in her arms that she hadn’t felt in a long time, Beverly smiled. She pressed a kiss to Deanna’s forehead. “I believe you.” She said. “I’ll be here if you need me, too. Anything I can do.”  


“Thank you,” Deanna kissed her neck sleepily.  


“Thank you,” Beverly agreed, stroking her hair and holding her close. The engines hummed, the stars passed, and their long mission began.  



End file.
